Throughout this existence of mine there have been moments when I suddenly asked myself: Where the hell are you? Right now? Right this minute? All I’m gonna say is, if you’ve ever had zero confidence or struggled or suffered in any way, maybe you will endeavor to cause less pain. Because you understand.” - Jarid Manos, Ghetto Plainsman
I read the introduction to this book at dinner one night. Unfortunately, I am currently occupied with a monstrous sci-fi book, so I have not had the time to read the whole thing. This stuck with me though. I suddenly felt like someone had put into words what I had been feeling my whole life.
I am growing up, and feeling all the pains and joys that come with it. I am constantly figuring out what I want to do with my life, and I have spent many nights toiling over every small detail of the future. Though it may not look like it, I feel lonely a lot. I get insecure just like every other teenager on the planet. I am wildly emotional, and the smallest acts of kindness bring me to tears. I question the world sometimes, people’s intentions, even my own.
But these are normal things. Everybody struggles. Every person on Earth will or has worried about their future, but learning to be ok with the unknown is part of what growing up is all about. Everybody gets lonely, but no one is truly ever alone. Somebody is always there for you. Insecurity is completely normal, and I wish it was something we talked about more often. Learning to accept and love yourself for exactly who you are and what you look like is another key part to growing up. I don’t know if anyone else is as big of a crier as me, but I love when my friends tell me it is ok. About the world, we are so quick to highlight its flaws, but I believe that people are genuinely good, even if their actions do not always show it.
We are all figuring things out, so a little kindness is necessary. In striving to cause less pain for others, you are causing less pain for yourself.
Growing up is hard, and so many normal pains come with it, but there are so many joys. New friendships, college just on the horizon, late nights out, driving a little too fast a night with music blasting, and growing into the person you were always meant to be.