Eleven Letters

Dear Mia, 

Everything was calm,

so beautifully chaotic. 

Not a mistake, not a fault

could berate my essence 

and the chaos that was you,

with it I found my spirit.

Maybe you’ll remember,

that bright October day, 

but am I gone from your memory?

I cannot be vanished from your head

because I bet you’re reminded

of our story every time

you lay your eyes on me 

just like that October day.

Dear Mia, 

Our story was quick but so detailed,

I remember our first day.

You were standing a few inches away from me

wearing your glassy gray. 

The light gray that goes so well

with your moonish eyes;

I could travel a million years,

a million galaxies 

with those spacelike eyes. 

So, how you came upon us, 

my friend and I, 

you were nervous, excited 

I saw it deep inside.

The redness in your cheeks was well hidden 

until you flipped back your hair,

and to me your thoughts revealed.

I shocked you, didn’t I?

With my sunny gestures and doglike smile?

Dear Mia, 

Your presence reminded me of the darkest fire 

the dark forest could muster

and your eyes,

the blue was something beyond the grave…

They were wild, almost psychotic.

Those blue eyes belonged beyond the grave,

a God-given gift from heaven.

And Hell, 

Hell’s a shabby word for what I went through 

before knowing my world without you.

Dear Mia,

I’d walk up the stairway to Heaven with you,

or the one leading down below.

We could pick flowers from graves 

or climb over the golden gate 

anything I’d do with you. 

All I could do was smile,

and think, this is something else.

Dear Mia, 

Even when my friend wasn’t always there,

I continued to confide in you, your lovely stare.

Like Romeo and Juliet but free,

we travelled far and wide.

And out of all of the fish in the hungry sea,

I wanted it to be you, 

you and me.

Suddenly, dear Mia, you held 

the key to my heart,

and there was so much to learn,

star crossed lover.

Every color you wore burned my eyes 

like I had never seen color before

and I was okay without my eyes.

But time was ticking, like a bomb

it was ticking…

Dear Mia,

October turned to November;

A different storm we had to weather,

I was okay, we were fine

I loved you more than anything

But Lord knows Romeo and Juliet

had a tragic ending.

Dear Mia, 

Bliss during the performance, 

havoc during the night. 

There was a sea of faces in the crowd

but I hope you only saw mine.

You neglected what we could have been,

you left me..

But why? 

That day I stopped you in the hall,

behind my friend, behind my doubt

was the day I felt my life blow up;

it was the end

of something beautiful. 

Dear Mia, 

Do you remember that November day? 

When I asked if everything between us 

was okay?

The now seemed forced embraces 

that you gave me prior

meant nothing then, 

what have I done to acquire 

your bloody absence in my life? 


What did I do wrong, who was to blame?

It’s hard to determine if they hurt the same:

How you’d rather look the other way

or how I cannot look back as you stray?

Oh, forgive me for what I have done

are you at any cost the broken one?

Dear Mia, 

Oh, I know I’ve been hurt before

but you especially leave me so sore.

You were there with your moonish eyes,

and then you vanished, dear Christ

You left me craving, waiting,

so damned famished. 

Dear Mia, 

What I’d do for you to forgive me

is what God would do to save his eldest son

from a war

Mia, I’d fight a war…

I guess I’ll have to rely on my sunny eyes 

To tell the tale of how you left me 

in your lies. 

And I guess we were destined to be aloof,

because the sun was always without 

the moon

and even though they say it died every night

so you could breathe

you never repaid me

so I cried, our storm fading.

The next day because of us

the sun became dimmer

and then the sky suddenly had no room

for love. 

Dear Mia, 

Please don’t forget me.

With love along with my uttermost deepest regret,