Us

Sometimes I want to go back, far away to the distant memory of when our love revolved around a simple summer night. Your hand on top of mine, the smell of the sweet summer woods dancing throughout the air. We would longingly gaze up at the starry night sky and wonder exactly how the universe brought us together. We were so entranced by each other it’s like your eyes had ultimate control over me. You locked me into this dreamworld state of mind that was so deadly yet so addictive. Our relationship was absolute bliss on the surface but things changed. . .

When we met I knew the kind of person you were and you knew exactly who I was. We knew we were far from alike, but wishful thinking got the best of both of us. It’s like we had this unspoken mutual understanding that “us” was temporary. We didn’t make sense together, but it’s intriguing to want what you can’t have, is that the only reason you wanted me? I was asking myself why am I so hopelessly choosing to love you over myself? I woke up to the painstaking reality that we were never in love. This temporary too good to be true “us” was the ultimate weapon being used against me. Looking back now, I’m grateful we were never in love because it awakened me to a new relationship, a relationship with myself. I had a realization that all these years I had been holding myself back for your sake. A relationship with someone who doesn’t understand the worth of a powerful individual certainly does not define you. If you don’t love yourself, you are always going to be that one person searching far and wide for love and happiness through other people. I was that person until “us”. I stopped giving my all to people who would forget my name in a year and enlightened myself to the true beauty of what self love is. I found something beautiful in myself through you, and for that I will forever thank you.